So I haven't updated my LJ in 25 weeks.

Here you go, Jules!

-Russ

This is very important. If you're at all interested in information about my adventures in Japan, there's another journal you'll have to add to your friends list. In fact, after I leave America, this journal may become obsolete, and all updates will be made in this new journal.

mrrussinosaka

This will be my new journal, starting with my countdown to departure. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Today I will begin my one-month countdown of my departure for Japan, even though it's three days late.

I am leaving August 5th, which means there are 27 days left before I leave.

I'd like to add something to each day to make this a bit more interesting maybe pictures of places I expect to go.

For example, later today I'll try to add a picture of Osaka Castle, since I'll be living about five minutes from there.

Keep a look out for it!

Been a while since I updated. I should probably start doing so more often.

So I'm going to Osaka-shi, Japan to teach English for JET and I got pictures of my apartment! My predecessor, who is the one who currently resides in what will become my apartment, has agreed to sell me a bunch of stuff in the apartment.

( Here are the pictures! )

So it looks clean now, but I'll take some pictures when I get there and mess it up. In Kevin's words, "Now just add 50 pounds of garbage and you'll feel right at home!" It's funny 'cause it's true, haha.

Played me some poker tonight at Matt's, had me a lot of fun. Matt has a friend named Russell (another friend, not me, but enough of those jokes for tonight) and we decided to sit next to each other to confuse everyone else. We knew from the beginning of the game that the last two at the table would be the two Russells. A mirror match, if you will. It went all the way down to the end, Russell and I were playing for raising antes, and we were up to $13 in chips when finally Russ went all in and I called him (I was the big stack, after all) and won with three... somethings. Queens? Maybe. I don't know. We played with wilds on the last hand and aces were it, and I had two of them. So I made twenty bucks, which was great because I actually... was crying a little bit earlier today about money problems.
I always get this way about money. There's always tough spots right before I'm about to start getting money and I always pull through, but it's that crunch because it always takes until the last moment to rectify it. I haven't paid last month's utilities yet because I don't have the money for that and rent and utilities has a longer grace period.
Well I'd better get to bed, I'm driving up to Gainesville tomorrow and to Tallahassee after that. It's supposed to be a bad weekend to be driving, right? Hopefully everyone will be heading in the other direction...
Actually after I won the poker game, the first thing I thought was, "I can't wait to tell Yoko!"
Miss you, Babe.

Yoko and I had a great time at Disney World. We got the Florida resident special, three days for the price of two, but we only got to use two of the days. I helped her get over a little bit of her fear of fast rides, though she's still afraid of those steep drops on roller coasters so I didn't make her ride anything too bad. I, of course, rode Space Mountain again.

I really enjoyed Epcot the most I think, though we didn't get to spend a lot of time there. Funny thing about it is, the entire Japanese exibit in the showcase of countries is as follows: a fast-food type restaurant with udon and teriyaki chicken, a Japanese steakhouse-type restaurant (the Benihana kind that I'm told doesn't even exist in Japan), a small tin toy exhibit and a huge shopping area. "This is Disney's image of Japan; a huge shopping mall," I told Yoko. She hit me. I told her she shouldn't hit me because I wasn't the one who made the exhibit. There are two Japanese dolls in the "It's a Small World" ride, and they just bow to you on the way out as you pass the Asian continent's section, a sizeable chunk of both shores displaying Chinese children flying kites and other sorts of activities. I told Yoko it was Walt Disney's way of "Sticking it to the Jappos." When she hit me, I told her he said it, not me.

The Norweigan section made me wish that I had some Norse blood swimming in with the rest of the mutt blood in my veins. I wish I could say I had Viking heritage. I wish I could say my ancestors hunted trolls in the forests by the shores of the fjords. I wish I could say I had an inheritance in the great empire of black metal. Alas, my strongest blood hails from the most alcoholic countries of west Europe (specifically Irish and German). I did feel the roots of my heart tug at me as we walked through Germany, and my soul is finally starting to call me to join the celebration of Oktoberfest (you know, the German celebration of beer). Even the American section made me feel a little patriotic, and when the small colonial-style band marched by with their tin flutes and small drums I couldn't help but stand at attention and salute. I even forgot about our senseless Long War and how much of an idiot our President is for the shortest of moments.

( Yoko missed her flight home )

( JET PLACEMENT )

Yoko and I went to Miami Seaquarium today and had a lot of fun. Tomorrow we leave for DeLand and will stay there for a while. We're going to Disney World over the next few days. I'm really excited, and I'm sure this will be a much more enjoyable trip than my last trip to Disney.
We've been really sick over the last week or so, hopefully we'll be feeling well during Disney!
I'm a little tired. I think there's an awful lot I'd like to write but I can't be sure because I've been feeling dizzy recently.
Well, good night, folks!

I graduated yesterday. Woo hoo! Maybe I'll upload pictures later. Oh crap, I gotta get ready to go!

Date:	2006-04-24 16:31
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	hyper

I just finished my last final. Ever. (knock-on-wood)
I drank a whole (free) can of that No Fear energy drink (bull semen extract all up in your mouth, yo!) before the exam and I was so hyper I almost couldn't concentrate. I sobered up shortly into it because I was like, "Shoot, which one is this... I think it's this." Then five questions later, "Oh, it says this, so that other one wasn't this, but this." I love multiple choice in language quizzes.
My teacher (who I found out is gay, though that's actually unrelated) gave me a 70% for my last workbork (I saw that I made this spelling mistake and decided I wouldn't change it in honor of Swedish Chef) section and said to turn it in tomorrow for full credit with a few excercises redone but didn't say which ones. So I figured, screw it. I don't even care if I get a B anymore. If he gives me a C, I'll cut his throat. End of discussion.
So the only thing standing between me and Alumnus status is graduation, which I won't even go to. My parents will come to Tallahassee to take pictures in my cap and gown anyway.
I wonder what game I should play first now that I have all this free time. So many to choose from... I think first I'll do Shenmue and then Metal Gear Solid for PSX.
I'm pretty hyper so... this is the end of the entry! I'm putting FSU to my rudder and never behind me shall I glance!

Sent in my JET reply form today. I'm that much closer to JET, and pretty excited. I also got a package from home with my birthday present (Harry Potter 3+4 on DVD) and some other nice stuff.

I'm pretty tired so... 'night.

I haven't forgotten to update, I've just been busy.
Finished my taxes etc. etc.
Oh! Adventure on the bus yesterday. Got on a #3 and rode it to the station, stayed on it and it turned into a #2 without me knowing. Handicapped man tryed to roll onto the bus (FSU peeps: the guy who sells candy bars for a dollar on campus) and gets stuck, bus driver calls someone out to get him moved. She couldn't do anything, she's pregnant. They move him off the ramp and he rolls away instead of trying to get on. I get off the #2 when it gets into the station, walk around and find a #3... which was actually the same bus I had just gotten off of. Decided to go to my next class without the book and got an extra credit point for it, then the bus came relatively quickly for the trip home. Hurrah!
Working on a price list for my dad and aunt's company, gonna get paid for it.
In a really good mood... I think 'cause I'm graduating soon and I'll be going to Japan. Woo baby! Just hope it's not Okinawa (knock on wood).
Party at Yasuhara-sensei's next weekend! Going to Gainesville tonight. Happy to see Yoko. Hurrying so I can get gas and pack and get an oil change, then it's off to Gaynessville I go!

Date:	2006-04-12 04:09
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	exhausted

I have to finish my assignment for German tomorrow morning. I was planning on getting to sleep around 12:30, and I was actually happy to be in bed by 1:00.

However, I've been in and out of bed since then, and it's 4:00 now. Well, almost 4:30. I fell asleep shortly in the middle of my bedtime prayer, so after I woke up I finished it and turned over, nice and relaxed... with the song "Life's a Beach" stuck in my head from Breath of Fire III. I didn't get much sleep after that since I was thinking about a lot of different things (mostly work and responsibilities). I got out of bed and got some of my German workbook done, but not correctly. I wrote a lot of smartass answers on principle. The workbook is assigned purely as busy work. He doesn't check if we're correct, so I can't learn anything from it. It's just stressful, and it's already two days late. So after that I dropped back in bed at 3:00. For a while more I was laying there, stuff running through my head. Same crap, different song. I think it was "Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles.

For someone with only eight hours of college, I have a pile of work this week. Most of it isn't school. After German's finished, that's just the beginning of my worries. The price list my aunt wants me to work on arrived in the mail this week so I gotta do that after I finish my taxes. I have to get my physical done tomorrow for JET and finish writing out the reply form, then take passport photos and mail the thing off. Then I finally get to translate two episodes of Disgaea by sometime this weekend (both twice as long as an episode of REC). After that I need to get started on my take-home exam for substantive criminal law sometime, but it's not due for a while, so I'm not in a rush yet. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to get an oil change and head down to Gainesville to see Yoko this weekend. Yoko, if you're reading this, I hope you will understand if I don't make it this weekend. I'll try my hardest, though.

I'm missing my pocket Japanese translator and volume 10 (11?) of Video Girl Ai. I can replace both of those when I get to Japan for not too much dough, but... I'd like to have mine. I think I left them at Thagard.

Yoko's still gonna call me at 6:30 tomorrow morning. I don't want to call and tell her not to. I'd better try again to get some rest.

Date:	2006-04-10 01:53
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	better

So I'm a douche bag. No really, stay with me on this one. I want everyone to know this.

It was a real asshole move of me to write like this about Pierre on my journal and not talk to him about my problems. Hey, I'm not good with confrontation, and I was scared. So is everyone else, right? I need to grow up, and I need to learn how to communicate with people. The friction between me and Pierre was not all his fault. A great deal, a GREAT DEAL of it was mine. Pierre didn't really want to single me out, he didn't want to be aggressive, he just likes the thrill of argument. I probably used to do that a lot with my mom. She used to tell people that I'd argue with a hole in the wall, and I'd tell her it wasn't a hole, it's a crack. I took a lot of the arguments to heart, probably because Pierre's pretty emotive. I know sometimes I seem angry when I get intense, so...

Anyway, things were really tense when the conversation started. I actually wanted to talk to him about it tonight but when I got downstairs the air was really thick. I figured either he had a bad night or he found the journal. Well, I don't know whether or not he had a bad night. So he was pretty mad, but now I'm glad he found the journal, even if it was an asshole thing to do on my part. Our personalities are really different, and the way we think about things really makes us clash. The whole thing about "MY TV and MY PS2" isn't the way Kevin and Pierre think. They put their DVDs down there and Pierre also has his stereo in the living room, and they just consider it communal. I'm not so used to that, so when we started out with that whole thing I always asked Pierre and Kevin if I could use their DVDs and what not (I asked Kevin last night to use Batmat Beyond, as well). So really I seemed pretty selfish when I brought the PS2 it to my room to play for a bit, and a lot of times it was up there for weeks at a time. (I got really into KHII and Final Fantasy XII...)

Anyway, we talked for a long time, and I'm really glad we did. Pierre and I may never have a really deep, close relationship, but there's no reason for what I did and there's no reason there has to be any emnity between us. I'm really sorry that I wrote those things about him, I'm sorry you had to read them, and I'm sorry to Pierre for doing so and not speaking to him about it instead. I'm really hoping to learn from this and keep things cool between the two of us.

So I mentioned this in the comments in my last post, but I was pretty hasty in writing yesterday's journal, and I'm sorry. Kevin read it and asked to talk to me, and I'm glad he did... I got to tell him a lot of things that were on my mind, about how I felt like a burden and like we weren't as close as before, about how because of that I felt it was harder to approach him about problems, because it's like inviting yourself to a party you weren't told about by the person throwing it. I felt I didn't have the right. We talked about a lot of things and smoothed a lot of things over, so I'm sure we'll be fine.

The big problem is Pierre, which I also want to apologize about the things I said about him last night in my journal, as well. To be honest, I'd like to be able to work things out with him, I don't hate him, but I do hate how he treats me. I don't go out of my way to antagonize him or be selfish. I don't actively wish for bad things to happen to him, I actually pray at night that he has a good day. When I see him, I try to be civil. I'd like the atmosphere between us to get better, but I feel like we couldn't have the same type of conversation I had with Kevin. If I tried to talk to Pierre, our strong wills would clash, we'd probably both get defensive, then we'd get into an argument, and I'll tell you how that'd go down. Pierre would bring the argument down to semantics and ad hominim to get me flustered until I got too frustrated with the argument to continue, and when I dropped from the argument, he'd claim victory. If the atmosphere between us were more pleasant, a conversation about it might not be so hard to pull off, but I think when it gets to that point I don't want to talk about it and chance ruining the good vibes and hope it'd just go away, since things work for me like that... I know it doesn't work for everyone. For me, if I get upset, I usually just need time and it blows over, unless I'm constantly antagonized. Even if I am, if I can get over the last big offense, I should be fine until I'm antagozined again.

I should probably try to talk to Pierre about it, but I'm scared to do so. I don't really want it to be like this.

Party report.

Almost a success. I'm glad people came. I had a good bit of fun... for a while.

But I am forever convinced that all my personal party endeavors will be cursed. I will never again have a birthday party. I once again left the party worse than I did coming into it, and a birthday party, especially your own, should not leave you feeling like that.

Why? Pierre. Pure and simple. I've decided that Pierre is my "nemesis," so to speak. The one force in the universe that is equal and opposite to you and does anything to destroy your happiness. I mean, it's not that he means to. But I'm sorry to say I ever invited him to live with us.

Poker was fun... until Pierre sat down at the table. Pierre never paid to play cards, why should he be allowed to comment on them? Pierre is an asshole. It's his nature. He can't turn it off. Am I not allowed to hate him for this? Oh. Too bad, I do. (By the way, when we came home around nine to start the party, Pierre was playing Final Fantasy X on *my* big screen on *my* PS2. I asked if he would be done soon and he said he was almost halfway through the game, because he's a smartass.) Meanwhile, people are funneling into the party slowly but surely. Pierre, however, showed no signs of stopping. AN HOUR LATER, I asked him to get off so we could start setting something else up, and he finally agreed. People behind him were playing a fighting game on the tiny screen I dragged downstairs from my room, huddled around it like a fire in a hiking camp in Alaska, waiting for some sign of rescue. On Pierre's birthday, I stayed away from the downstairs TV. Both on his birthday, and on the day of his party, because I wasn't going to interrupt his gaming. It's his birthday, let him do what he wants. I didn't really expect the same thing from him, I didn't expect him to reciprocate. Nah. It's common courtesy. That's expecting too much from him.

You know, I didn't want a birthday party. I didn't want to have one from the start, but people said I should. The Gaineville guys said it'd be a good excuse to finally come up because I had been kinda disappointed in them before in not reciprocating our visits. I already told you how I psyched myself up for this. I wanted this more for my friends than I did, but I still feel like, on my birthday, I deserve something, you know? Respect. Ah, yes. So watching Eyal and my girlfriend get bullied by Josh and Pierre during my own damn birthday party was the low point of my party. Also, the end of it. Sure, there was some fun in there. But because of the tension in this apartment, I was not a happy drinker. I was a hostile drinker. Not punching anyone, but I was yelling at people. I don't like to do that. I wasn't yelling at the people I wanted to yell at, but they were there. They live with me. I want out of this apartment, and I want out of this country. JET can't come soon enough. 1021 can burn.

Thanks to Yoko, Jason, Becky, Deric, Andy, Hodge, Jake, Eyal, Josh, and Matt Allen and Matt Canada.

Goodnight

Date:	2006-04-07 21:01
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	a little bummed

I'm having a little get together at my place tomorrow for my birthday party/JET acceptance celebration. Some friends of mine are coming in town. I don't feel much in the party mood right now.
Part of it is being tired. Most of it is my bad luck with my own parties, as Kevin reminded me.
Kevin and I were in the car today and he asked what I was doing for the party. I mentioned the activities (mostly games, poker, and watching Robot Chicken, which Yoko got for me) and he seemed really critical of every single one. "Only a few people are probably going to play poker." "I can only watch so much Robot Chicken." "Are we gonna play games all night just like at your party where you killed Guilty Gear?"
The Guilty Gear one in particular cut me deep. My nineteenth birthday party has haunted me for years, so it took me a while to psyche myself up for this party. It's gotta be pretty bad if you have to psyche yourself up for you own freakin' party. I finally got myself into it by saying that I'll have a really nice party if I get accepted to JET. I'll invite my friends from out of town and get some drinks and have a gay old time. That's what I told myself. I was still wary of the idea, but I worked myself into it. I was kind of excited until this afternoon.
The guys told me the other day they were planning to come on saturday. They said they'd come in early, which means they'd be here after at least three (that's how these things just end up). When I go to Gainesville, I spend a while there. I kinda felt bad they'd be coming in and then leaving the next day. To be honest, I felt kind of cheated. I talked them into leaving after Josh's Cuong Nhu class, which means they'll be here late tonight, but I'll get more time with them. It's my party, I'm allowed to be selfish, right?
Anyway, now that I'm in this mood and it's come down to it, I'm really worried about the guys saying they won't come tonight. I would be tempted to cancel the party, I swear. I'd give into my party curse and just use the weekend for homework or something.

Gah, I'm pretty tired... I don't even know why. My head isn't working very well. I think I'll sleep soon.
By the way, my JET packet came in today! I have to take care of medical stuff tomorrow... at least get some sort of appointment to do it.
JET... exciting. Want to... read more... *falls asleep*

So where was I? My dream coming true, right? Seven and a half years of waiting, and it comes down to three more months to the day before I leave... am I excited? You bet. But not as excited as I think I could be.
Don't get me wrong! I'm excited! I just think I could be a lot MORE excited, and I can tell you with the utmost certainty that over the summer I will only become MORE and MORE excited. For example, reading the JET handbook that I found online gets me all KINDS of happy. Playing Shenmue for Dreamcast makes me want to be there even sooner.
OH CRUD! I spent too much time on YTMND and my break between classes is over; I have to catch the bus >_< Ok! Bye!

Almost forgot I'm going to try to post everyday now...

People have been reminding me that my dreams are coming true. I'm kind of in a haze about it. Seven and a half years ago, I decided I'd do JET. I never thought it would be that hard. Back then, I wasn't told how competitive it was. So I just said, "I'm going to that." Since then, college to me was just that four-year space between high school and the JET Program. Honestly. That was all it ever was to me. Now, within the last few months, the doubts entered my mind, "What if the JET thing doesn't work out?" I never had a back-up plan. I just went straight forward with it. So you can imagine that, with my future on the line like this, I became wrapped in the stress born from my own poorly-planned... plans.

I'll talk about this more tomorrow, I gotta go to bed and/or study.

Aunt Valerie said I should keep a journal every day from now until I go to Japan and every day after that. "Journal, journal, journal," she says.

So one thing I'd like to mention right off is strange dreams and difficulty sleeping. The strange dreams are actually pretty cool. In one of them I earned the power to summon Final-Fantasy style, but when I went to the ceremony which was like orientation for summoners, time "blinked." I was sitting in front of the man in charge, when all of a sudden the time of day was different, and the people in front of me were not part of the ceremony, but a cafeteria crew getting ready for some sort of lunch or dinner. "What happened," I asked one of the men. "You've been sitting here staring straight ahead for ten days. Nobody wanted to bother you." I had never fallen asleep, so I had no idea why time had passed like that. I brought it up with my mother in the dream and asked if it could have anything to do with my new summoning powers, and she said not to mention it to anyone. I don't remember anything after that from the dream.

I think the reason I'm having trouble sleeping is partially my sleep schedule (long naps during the day...) but also that, when I lie down, I can't stop thinking. My mind races a mile a minute... and it's not always about anything important. It jumps from one subject to another and I can't seem to calm down. I'm almost positive this has to do with JET.

I'm sure that's enough for today. I'm really not worried about classes anymore. I've always done well enough to pass even when I don't try too hard, and I got extentions on two assignments today. I'm just going to coast this week. Ahhh...